"Saudade"(pronounced sow-da-gee) is a wonderful portuguese word that doesn't really have a literal english translation. It kind of means "missing", as in "I miss you", but it has more flavors. It's a longing in your heart, and it carries a kind of bittersweet acknowledgment of fleeting things; that the enjoyment of being together is an end in itself if not simply the best thing of all - very Brazilian to me. And very Rosina. Saudade, mb, muito saudade.
She is kind of the same. Her body is under a lot of stress and there are a variety of treatments going on. Honestly, it's tough. I took Nina out to the hospital last night, it was a really good visit. Although Rosina cannot respond, Nina talked to her for a couple of hours and held her hand. Nina said it wasn't as weird as she thought it was going to be. It was nice. I took Jake and Will today. Their reactions were mixed. Jake was a bit choked up, Will was a little weirded out. I sat with him outside later. I asked him how he thought mom looked. He said, "She'd win first prize in a Halloween contest" which was both heartbreaking and funny. But it was definitely good for them to go.
We did a project where we put Rosina's handprint on some fabric. Later social services people at the hospital will use it to make a pillow that the kids can have. They pick the fabric and Will, for one, put his hand print next to Rosina's. I actually took her hand and brushed paint on it to make the print. It reminded me of how she always talks about stuff we used to make together when we met, like flyers for the band (we were in a band together) or later, Christmas cards. A little art project. She'd like it.She was more alert today, moving her head a bit. A lot of people came by. She's had another plasma exchange and had dialysis a couple of times. Her kidneys aren't working that well. They did a CT scan of her head and neck and it was all normal. Yesterday they found the bleeding in her lungs had started again and they went ahead and increased the steroids. Today, her lungs were better and they were able to bring the oxygen levels on the ventilator back to normal (30%). It's a lot of stuff for a sweet thing.
xo
ph
9 comments:
I wanna hold your hand too, my Ro...
Eu tenho saudade de tudo que diz respeito a você e ao seu universo. Quando você voltar dessa ausência tão doída, nós vamos `a forra. Vamos voltar `a Paraty, para novas fotos como essa, vamos tirar outra foto dos nossos pés em Noronha, com novas havaianas e vamos ao Hawai, que vc tanto ama.Com toda família.
Nós vamos matar essa saudade tão cruel, com nossa alegria de ter você de volta.
Lots of love, Zélia
I can't find a word. But with a litte help of a portughese poet I say to Rosina that I Love her.
un calido abrazo de España.
Juan Alberni
Escuta, escuta: tenho ainda
uma coisa a dizer.
Não é importante, eu sei, não vai
salvar o mundo, não mudará
a vida de ninguém - mas quem
é hoje capaz de salvar o mundo
ou apenas mudar o sentido
da vida de alguém?
Escuta-me, não te demoro.
É coisa pouca, como a chuvinha
que vem vindo devagar.
São três, quatro palavras, pouco
mais. Palavras que te quero confiar,
para que não se extinga o seu lume,
o seu lume breve.
Palavras que muito amei,
que talvez ame ainda.
Elas são a casa, o sal da língua.
Eugénio de Andrade
Peter, you are one of the best human beings I've ever known. I had to explain to Rogerio what I meant by calling you a "pillar of strength"...but watching you with your sons yesterday was remarkable. I love you and admire you more than ever.
Andrea
P.S. The personal significance of the specific shot of Rosina in Parati is not lost on me.
We are nonstop thinking of you, Rosina, Peter.
Our love and prayers, Julie & Steve
Peter, you make me smile, you make me cry. But most of all you are an inspiration. You help me appreciate how precious our lives are and how important it is to spread the love around. This is trite, I know, but so easily overlooked.Your wonderful photos convey the joy you have for each other and for life.
Rosina, you are an inspiration in your brave struggle to overcome.
With love, Valerie
Great to see you Payter. We're sending all big love all the time. Roderick&Alfre
Hello Peter,
My name is Joao. I'm an old friend of Zelia's who has recently come to know of Rosina's "Road Trip". I spent some time catching up the last few days and I'm very moved, touched and inspired by the way you and your family are dealing with this situation. It cannot be easy... Your words a filled with the care and sweetness I'm sure you bestow upon her every chance you get. Anyhow, just wanted to say I'm yet another person joining the band wagon to have Rosina back to good health and you.
Cheers
Peter,
the pillow art project sounds wonderful, Rosina would definitely approve. I still remember her creativity in making an illustration from a childrens' book, using a picture of Amy dressed as a fairy. She put Amy on top of a bell shaped flower, like a little flower fairy...I cherish that art project very much...and I LOVE your (yours & Rosina's) Xmas cards!
Anna
These has been one of the most touching texts in this blog. I feel incredible immense saudades of all of you. Wish I could hold and hug Will, Jake and Nina and try to explain that life sometimes is just one huge test. They are learning that WAY too early, but it can't be helped. They will understand when they see Rosina back in full stride. Pedro you are amazing man! Hope to see you all soon! Beijos enormes!
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