Happy Birthday

Above is a cartoon by our friend Rogerio that he did for Rosina's birthday today. She would have been 47. We went out with the kids to Sushi Ike as we've done for many many birthdays and Rogerio delivered a great hand drawn card as usual. Besides being spot on for Rosina (color is good!), it's also a reminder to carry on; although your circumstances may change, carry on. Of course, she looks great in white, too.

Some days are long, some are short, and we all have our moments. It is an odd sensation to be utterly convinced that something happened, yet still not believe it. It's not denial, it's shock. Sometimes the missing is a happy fleeting remembrance, and sometimes it's like staring into a dark hole of eternity (speaking from experience, try to avoid that when you're driving).

One week after she was gone, we had a memorial here at the house. For practical reasons I kept trying to come up with another place, but, as it's said, there's no place like home. I wanted it to be true to Rosina, and true to me, true to us. And it was. There were one hundred and fifty or maybe two hundred people here. Among the many people who told me how much they appreciated the day, I spoke to someone yesterday who said it was a little odd. Why? "Because it was such a good time." I just couldn't imagine a dour and grim service as paying tribute to Rosina. Friends and family spoke, read poems, sang songs and cried bunches while at the same time, all the attending children ran around outside and laughed. It was right. There was a fabulous group effort to get everything together, from the incredible food to the AV squad to the setting up and cleaning up. (I thank you!)

All week cold rain had been falling and more was predicted for that Saturday. Earlier, Will had asked me if Mom was going to try and contact us somehow. I told him that she would do it all the time, but in little ways; little things that we saw or that happened to make us think of her, that's how she'd do it. And as if to prove it, that Saturday the sun came out for a beautiful day of blue sky. A gorgeous day, and as people started to leave late in the afternoon, the clouds crept back in and it rained again. She opened a small window for us. It would have stayed open longer, but hey, she's new to this.

We are all back to our "normal" routine with occasional missed days and occasional blank expressions. It's still really early. But today with bright eyes we salute our dear Rosina's birthday and sing the song that is not a regular Brazilian birthday song, but one that we always sang together:

Saldamos o grande dia
que tu hoje comemoras
seja casa onde mora
a morada da alegria
o refugio da ventura
feliz anniversario!

(translation)
We salute the great day
That you commemorate
This house where you live
the dwelling of happiness
the refuge of joy
happy birthday!

xo
ph